Paulina said: July 25, 2010 9:41 am PST
Hi Daniel, thank you for your answer. It's not really that I think you blame Alice Miller. But let's say your mother understood the book completely (pretty much everyone does, right?), so why she kept on hurting you? Is it possible to "know" and not do nothing, is it possible to be so unbelivably cruel? I think this is the thing that is so extremely hard to face for child. I had a situation with my father 1,5 yrs ago that I still cannot go through. I told him once (finally) how severe my depression was, how I suffer each day, that I actually don't live my own life at all and told him that this is all beacuse of how they (my parents) were treating me in childhood. I have a brother that is 14 and still lives with them. I asked him to do something to help my brother not to suffer like me in future. And do you think he did anything? Unfortunately nothing. Completely nothing, like I haven't said anything to him.... And I still think it must have been something wrong with my explanation of my disease beacuse I cannot understand how can anyone be so cruel....(of course I understand it with my mind, but not with my emotions) I have given this example beacuse it seems to me very similar to you, the book and your mother. You prefer to say that the book was wrong not your mother so extremely cruel. The book helped me, it helped you, why wouldn't it help your mother???
And I do think telling anyone what to do or not do is abusive as opposed to informing or even suggesting. If you are abusive to abusive parents who do you think they will put their anger at? Their children? so are you really helping the children? Or you are only abusive the same way they are. Regards, Paulina